TOP TEN WAYS TO DEAL WITH YOUR TODDLER’S TEMPER TANTRUMS

Screaming. Kicking. Occasional biting. Tantrums are a normal development stage, and they often occur as a reaction to strong emotions that they don’t have the ability to tell you about. We’ve all heard of “Terrible Twos,” but in many children tantrums begin far before the first birthday, sometimes as early as nine months. Here are ten ways to avoid and ultimately deal with tantrums:

1. Take the time to play and talk with you toddler frequently – the first step to avoiding tantrums is setting up good communication with your child, advises Dr. Harvey Karp, author of the best-selling book and DVD, The Happiest Toddler on the Block.
2. Try to foresee tantrums, divert your child before one erupts, and remember that most toddlers can’t be easily calmed down once a tantrum begins, although you should pick up your child if you think he will hurt himself.
3. Generally speaking, the best way to cope with any tantrum – public or private – is to ignore it and let it take its course. Of course, ignoring a tantrum isn’t always possible. If it happens in a public place, try to remove your child from the scene. If you can, take her outside to the car and let her scream it out there.
4. When you go to public places, bring items that will create a diversion to help avoid a scene and give yourself peace of mind. Their favorite early learning toy might do the trick.
5. A child who has already lost control can be brought to consciousness by splashing a couple of ounces of water on her face. This has the same effect as slapping a hysterical person to shock, then back to reality.
6. Michelle McGarrity, Parent Coach and CEO of Nanny Coach, Inc. suggests that if a parent is too angry to be rational, she should leave the room and ask another caregiver to take charge for a few moments.
7. Many parents actually model for their children how to perform temper tantrums by yelling, screaming and even hitting when they get to the end of their rope. Realize that by doing this, you are teaching your child how to misbehave.
8. The majority of parents need to learn ways to discipline their children. Effective discipline helps a child develop empathy and self-control.
9. For the very young, explanations that “Daddy is busy” just aren’t going to be enough. What you can do, though, is offer an alternative, such as “Daddy is busy right now, would you like to draw some pictures for a while?”
10. When your child throws things, try some variation of “Uh-oh, toys aren’t for throwing. If you’re mad, you can give it to Mommy or put it on the table. You can have it back when you’re ready to be gentle.” To get the toy out of sight, you might put it in your child’s toy box.

After a tiresome day of bargaining with your child, rely on your confidence in your instincts and parenting wisdom. Tap your resources of parents with older children and your pediatrician for helpful advice in dealing with the typical situations you will encounter with your child.

By Michelle O’Connor, Diaper Changing Tables