Biologists Unable to Explain
The recent discovery of a new and previously unknown animal species at www.sillyasstoys.com has left both biologists and anthropologists scratching their heads and searching for clues. Referred to as Zibbies by research scientists, the origin of these most unusual creatures remains a mystery.
Though Zibbies resemble many familiar animals such as a penguins, flamingos and ducks, one striking feature that differentiates these peculiar creatures from their standard animal counterpart are the unmistakable and inexplicable colorful rubbery spikes growing from the tops of their heads.
So what could explain these stretchy and vibrant growths? Could this be some sort of genetic mutation? Or are Zibbies a new and completely different species? Or could there be something more otherworldly to explain these animals’ unusual appearance? So far, the scientific community has offered no cogent explanation.
“The entire Zibbie phenomenon is like nothing we have ever seen,” says Hans Dorfelberger of head of Zoological research at the College of San Francisco. “If this is a genetic mutation, what possible purpose could these rubberized spikes serve? Except to make them fun and adorable, or course.”
Based on Dorfelberger’s statements, perhaps these unusual and stretchy growths are more than just a new link in the evolutionary chain.
“Yes, these Zibbies may look like animals we all know…the penguin, the duck, the mouse…but what if that is merely a disguise? Where do they actually come from? Is there any reasonable explanation for this radical change in appearance? Except to make them cute of course,” says Former NASA scientist and current dean of Mixatonic University, Harold Lovecroft.
“What is the agenda of these Zibbies and why have they infested www.sillyasstoys.com?” Lovecroft asks. “I fear that this is just the first step in a radical and frightening alien invasion. Disguising themselves as cute and attractive animals makes these so-called Zibbies the perfect covert agents for an eventual planetary takeover…or at least, that is what the voices in my head tell me.”
“Sorry, but I have no idea about where they came from either,” states David Luebke, President of www.sillyasstoys.com. “We opened up the warehouse one morning, and there they were. At least we don’t have to feed them. But what are those rubbery spikes on their heads? I mean, what do they do…except make them cute of course,” says Luebke.
Though these mysterious creatures require very little care and the www.sillyasstoys.com staff usually enjoys the company, the large Zibbie population has become a hindrance to the day to day operations in the warehouse.
“You go to open a box of Antworks ant habitats, and there will be one of those spiky headed penguins or flamingos. I gotta tell you, those little guys have given some of my shipping clerks quite a fright,” says Luebke trying to conceal a note of panic in his voice. “I would really love to know why they decided our warehouse was a good home. I mean, I like cute animals as much as the next guy, but this is getting out of hand.”
Therefore, www.sillyasstoys.com is asking for the public’s help to prevent any possible warehouse mishaps resulting from this Zibbie infestation.
“If anyone out there thinks that they can give one of these little guys a good home, please visit our website, www.sillyasstoys.com, and view the Zibbies available for adoption. I think any animal lover would enjoy having one of these odd guys around. Trust me, they are like nothing you have ever seen before, and who knows, they may disappear just as quickly and mysteriously as they appeared, so please don’t wait,” says Luebke.